2016 & 2017

Anyone who knows me decently well knows I hate New Years Eve with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I really frakking hate it.

Why? Because it’s a lot like Valentine’s Day, in that it’s this manufactured thing that is meant to be a new beginning but all it manages to ever do is depress me. Mostly because of my own stupidly high expectations, I’ll admit. There’s just something about being stuck alone on New Years that just blows compared to being alone any other night of the week. At least it does for me.

I try not to let it get to me, but it always does, and inevitably I end up in tears and crawling into bed at 10:00 like I did last night.

It was especially important to me to have someone to spend it with this year, as 2016 was the shities of all shitty years I have experienced. And I’ve been through a lot of shitty years. I’d typically do a year in review here, but suffice it to say, the only thing that comes to mind is my mom dying. June 9th 2016 my Mom died and nothing will ever really be the same any more.

Yes, she went quickly and painlessly, or mostly anyway. It’s a good way to go if you’re going to go, i know that. But I wanted more time. Just more of everything.

But that’s not going to happen now. So what I had wanted was a good new year. That went to shit too. So 2017 better be a grand improvement. Let’s just leave it at that.

 

In better news, today begins the first day of my GIVEAWAY. From now through the end of February, every (meaningful) comment on my blog will be entered into a draw for a $50 Chapters gift card. I look forward to hearing what all of you have to say!

 

4 thoughts on “2016 & 2017”

  1. It’s funny but I too have always hated New Year’s Eve, even when I was young and was with a crowd of friends. Why you ask? It’s because I still managed to feel alone and I dreaded all the kissing at midnight because there was never anyone looking to kiss me first.

    Now, more often than not, I still am in bed and asleep before midnight. I realize that I may not be the norm but I am finally comfortable in choosing not to make a fuss about this one particular night.

    I would much rather dance on the longest night of the year, enjoying the warm evening and the smells that come with summer.

  2. I used to hate being alone on New Year’s Eve. Now it seems I prefer it. Maybe it’s just that I’m so used to it, being up and around people seems odd to me. I much prefer my bed.
    I’m so sorry you were so unhappy. Loneliness is terrible. Next time, let’s do something together.

Leave a Reply