If you think this post is about you, it probably is. How’s that for a change?
I am a single, 35 year old, disabled, aboriginal, queer woman. I joke that I am my own parade. I’ve recently discovered how unfunny that joke is. Let’s take this one by one, shall we?
Single 35 year old woman
Straight out the gate I will admit that this one is not that unusual. A single 35 year old woman is even common in my circle of acquaintances. But you know what I’m grateful for? That I don’t want kids. Because I see my late 30s, single, female friends who want children and don’t have a partner. They are running out of time. But they are doing what they want anyway, and gods I applaud them.
I have Cerebral Palsy. I make that fairly well known. I am not ashamed, I’m fucking pissed off. Once again, I am not the severe CP person, I am not fucking Frederic Bilodeau who is so inspiring by existing. I am just April, with the not really believable disability, who is not an inspiration but a liability. I’m god damned invisible. My life is just as fucking hard as Frederic’s, and if you don’t think so, you’re blind.
I was never ashamed to be aboriginal. My white family encouraged me more than any aboriginal group could. I learned that upon moving to Ottawa. I didn’t grow up on a reserve; half my family was white. We had different mothers and fathers and I was left out of my sister’s obituary like I never existed. My aboriginal father spent 50 years as an alcoholic, at least 20 as a wife beater and then 10 as the “homeless native guy begging for change outside the bank”. My white family always loved, encouraged and accepted my culture, which is more than I can say of any first nations person I have met.
I am Irish, Italian, French Canadian and Ojibwa. I’ve travelled to Ireland, Italy, French Canada and the Ojibwa territory. Guess who accepts me as one of them without question? In order: Ireland, Italy, French Canada, Native Canadians. Yeah? Well fuck you too.
I am a queer woman. I’m queer, middle aged, crippled, alone. Which leads me to…. Pretty, White, Straight, Able-bodied Girls Who Are Against Bullying. You got bullied. I’m sure you did. For – oh NO – being the not as rich, not as pretty, smart girl. They hated you because they were jealous, of course. But you were a snobby condescending bitch and you don’t see that because you’re the biggest victim of bullying ever! You’re still a snobby, condescending bitch. Even if you don’t think you are, you are. I want to punch you in the throat.
And if after this you’re all offended, go watch this: